I’m super excited to have you here!
Let’s hang out and get to know each other!
I’m Maguire, and I’m here to bring you on a vibrant journey of magic + mysticism…
I love all things pop culture, Harry Potter, and vintage glamour. I’m also into deeply interested in many Earthly forms of Divine Magic and I’m so passionate to be able to share it with you all!
I’m an energy healer and manifestation coach, and I teach on all the following:
- Manifestation, White Light, energy healing and releasing, ancient Celtic Spirituality, Early Celtic Christianity, Druidry, Jesus, and loving God through deconstructed religion.
I have gone through trauma, stress, and struggle, and found triumph, success, and genuine peace. I didn’t know how to make sense of this world or figure out my place in it, and even didn’t know how I fit in with God and my religion. But I learned how to swim in the depths of the oceans of faith and found my path to peace. I discovered the true Love of Divine White Light and found the magic of the Creator.
If you’re ready to change your life, girl, connect with me! Let’s make magic happen!
*this could me talking to you, girl! :) make it happen! <3
WANT A LONGER STORY?
Girl, I know it’s a lot to take in someone’s faith and spirituality, especially if you’ve have a hard experience of your own, but I give you mine should you need to know that you’re not alone in trying to find your place within religion and spirituality. It’s a bit of a long story, but I feel it’s important for many women who have also struggled to share in the stories and experiences of other women and to understand the similar emotions we encountered. I received quite a lot of messages from women who have struggled massively as a result from religious restriction, and even spiritual abuse, so as best as I can, I want to share my story with you. It’s in this sharing of our stories that we connect, unite, and heal.
Dig in, darlin’ + feel free to connect with me!
Religious Restriction, Anxiety, and Past Trauma
I come from a strict Christian background. It’s not even that my entire family was involved in some kind of cult, I was just one of the ones who got caught and pulled in in the Church and religious mindset. I want to be super clear, I am not knocking Christianity, but I am taking a strong stand against religious communities that don’t empower all individuals and encourage free thought. Growing up in this deep in the religious communities, I saw life in black and white, and as a result, I had a lot of walls placed in between myself and other people, myself and the world, and in between me and God.
At some point, I started suffering with massive anxiety that was getting worse and worse, and the Christian community I was in held a strong and grossly ungodly stigma about mental illness and anxiety. When I did come forward to ask for help and prayer, or to even just tell my truth, I was met with voices and opinions that either caused me more isolation in my struggle or implied (if not directly stated) that my anxiety was a spiritual result or consequence from some massive sin I seemed to be unaware of. I had been trying to relieve myself of my anxiety and find a spiritual healing within my church community, but instead my efforts only made me feel worse about myself for struggling at all and it strengthened and broadened the walls I had between myself and God.
Thankfully, in that same community, I did happen to Divinely come across a counselor who would be able to beautifully (and scientifically) guide me through my struggles. I came to peace with her in knowing that my anxiety was a result of a trapped trauma my mind hadn’t been able to process. But there had been a lot of stress and initial trauma that caused the anxiety, and then added to it was all the stress and isolation I felt in my community for having anxiety at all and for feeling that I was spiritually to blame for the issue. The mounting, massive confusion, guilt, and fear I had about my own anxiety was a mountain of trauma itself that I now had to undo. Later on, I would learn that such implications that I was at fault and to blame for stress was labelled as spiritual abuse, even if the people who perpetuated these ideas also were ignorant to how detrimental the effect of their words and behaviours were.
Frustration from Western Medicine
Once I had the support of my counselor, I was encouraged to go to the doctor for even more support from Western medicine. Intuitively - without even having any real concept at that time of what intuition is - I did not want to be on medications, not even short term. But I was willing to do whatever was necessary to bridge from my stress into health and wellbeing, especially as at that point in time I didn’t understand anything about the energy of the human body. However, once again, I was unable to find real support and guidance from my many doctors I went to. Terrified at the idea of speaking out loud the constant anxiety and panic attacks I was experiencing to my doctor, just being there at all was a major distress. Instead of explaining to me the physiological effects my body was experiencing during times of fight, flight, or freeze as I needed to hear, instead of asking me my past experiences and current diet and exercising habits, hell, instead of being a decent person and doctor who’s literal job was to support his patients, he simply asked me, “Are you trying to solve all your life problems with a pill?”
I felt accused in my efforts to find medical help, and once again guilted for my experience. I never went back to that doctor again, but his treatment of me became the first overwhelming and unsupported experience that would soon become a pattern every time I would go to a Western doctor for support and guidance. My entire lifestyle and habits would be completely ignored, and I’d just be written a prescription for some anti-anxiety pill and then sent on my way - no more knowledgeable about my physiological experience, and no more secure in my health and healthcare. When they were never able to heal my anxiety, nor even quell it enough to give me hope for future health and wellbeing, I abandoned the path of Westernized health care. I realized their efforts were to suppress symptoms, not truly restore and heal my internal systems at the root level, as I deeply needed.
Between doctors and my church leaders, I felt helpless and hopeless. I felt isolated and alone in my journey, as if I would never be able to invite anyone into my life, as I would surely be rejected for being as I am. The worst of this was that around me were too many people who freely (and continuosly) voiced opinions such as, “What are you so nervous for?”, and then they would immediately follow with telling me what they thought I should do for myself. Having to explain your struggles, to also supply all reasons for why, and to tell what you were doing for yourself, while yielding off their well-intended but frustrating advice all in the midst of my anxiety attack is a difficult endeavor indeed. Especially when you have tried multiple, multiple options and doctors, and still don’t yet have some level of healing or even an answer as to what you should do going forward. The resulting conclusion was to just keep silent and struggle alone; to invite no more unhelpful opinions or isolating responses. There was light at the end of the tunnel, I knew it - but this was a journey I learned I must embark on alone.
Spirituality and Self-Suppression
At some point I discovered “spirituality”: chakras, yoga, meditation, and energy healing. (Thank you, Interwebs!) It brought me such life! Deeper healing, faith, restored hope, and revitalized life… answers! I saw the connections between many physical issues I had that doctors all viewed as separate. I found new modalities of healing and finding peace. I saw how one issue related to another, and all were within the catergory of one chakra, and how this must all have been part of the beautiful intricacy with which God created us, for only a Grand Designer and Creator could infuse within us such a complex, inter-connected, yet beautiful system. Not only that, but these modalities taught me that the body was designed to heal itself in every form, just as it does with cut skin or broken bones. This is so clearly hope from Heaven, I knew! My discovery of spiritual healing modalities only made God seem even bigger to me, more majestic and grand, and yet, more intimate, personal and nurturing.
Yet, I did not feel safe in anyway speaking of such things. If people were rejecting me as being ungodly for having panic attacks, how would they respond when I revealed that I believed in Chakras, and that God created them as part of our energy pathways? I had to hide that part of myself - my healing endeavors - tightly away, as spirituality (and sometimes even basic science) did not align with the community beliefs of my religion.
What I didn’t realize that as I suppressed my spiritual interests, I was also deeply repressing my entire personality, which the very core of one’s being. My interests, my passions, my opinions on matters… I felt pressed to conform to the norm, to appear always in a certain mannerism of perfection, whereas in reality (or rather, in secret) I was really a big and bold personality. After going through so much energy healing, the fullness of my personality began to emerge, and instead of being meek, graceful, quiet, and “proper”, I was actually quick to blurt out opinions and jokey quips, able to carry entertaining and funny conversations, loved engaging one on one with people, and had no problem at all challenging mindsets that didn’t support the empowerment of all people. Once I rejected the concept of repressing myself for the sake of other’s prideful opinions, I realized I was kind of a wild flame, easily ignited and passionate, happy to always find a laugh, and very much unwilling to follow any other opinions of another person. I found I was very strong and independent and quite fierce in the face of emotional oppression. But until I was able to come to such a place, I was the one oppressed. The large size of my personality was shoved away within, contorted and caged under religious social opinion and expectation of how a young woman “should” behave and appear. The wild within me even now in just retelling this story wants to shout at what bullsh*t such a concept is and to rage at how deeply I internalised it. But the truth is I know that this was my path so that I could bring courage and enlightenment to others.
Near-Death + Renewed Life - and Spiritual Visions
My story continues in that stead of soul-repression, continued confusion, and desperate hope. Let me be sure to say I was - and still am - dedicated to living a life of faith. Honoring God with my life was my main desire, and clearly still is, as I’ve dedicated my life to learning and sharing Divine Truth. I was praying non-stop for healing for myself, always going up for prayer, and holding onto hope that God would bring me healing. But I also innately knew I would never receive a miracle from on High. God had impressed upon me that I was not to asking for “healing” (as in, a miraculous quick fix), but to seek out wholeness. I knew I needed internal mental, spiritual, and physical restoration, and I sought it in secret by reading texts on chakras, traditional Chinese medicine, and energy healing. Binging on holistic information I found online, I didn’t have concrete change or answers yet, but I had a resurgence of determined hope for my future. I even went out to the grocery to stock up on organic produce to heal myself through food, not knowing what would happen the very next day.
On my way to work early in the morning, I was hit on my driver’s side by an 18 wheeler Mack truck. I was found unconscious on the passenger’s seat. (Thank God I had my seat belt on!) Seven of my ribs were broken and displaced, one of which had punctured my lung. My pelvic bone was broken in 6 different places, leaving me to need to learn to walk again. I had a severe concussion, minor brain trauma that still leaves me dizzy from time to time, and minor fractures around my body. I was losing both blood and breath quickly. The accident was so loud, ear witnesses thought a bomb exploded. My car looked so bad, first responders thought whoever was inside was surely dead. But by the power of God, I was alive, though barely. They had to cut me out with the jaws of life, and ordered me air-lift transport to major hospital, only to quickly cancel it and bring me to a smaller, closer hospital. They didn’t think I was going to make it to the hospital, but I did, praise God. And again, when received into the E.R., they didn’t think I would make it back out, and once again. my life was proved to have been Divinely sustained.
But here’s the wild thing. While I was still in my car, I had some sort of genuine moment of spirit. Not a “spiritual” experience, but a literal moment of the spirit. Though I was definitely physical incapable of movement on my own right after impact (and for some time later), I thought I had sat up and spoken with God. “Am I going to die?” I asked. Clearly, my soul and spirit had understood the full impact of my trauma, immediately. My accident took place at the border of a golf range and a highway. Though the golfing greens are a pretty landscape, in my mind’s eye, I was sitting upright and overlooking a vibrantly beautiful and lush, albeit blurry field. Physically, I was across the console of my car, with my head barely on the passenger seat. Yet, impressed upon my spirit was a strong, higher “voice”. I didn’t hear anything audibly, nor even mentally, yet I was definitely told something by a Higher Knowing. I was reminded of a dream I had several years prior - a dream of future promises, of a life fulfilled. In this spirit to Spirit conversation, I conceded in the most casual way. I accepted my continued life, the fact that I would not die, as if I had been absentmindedly mulling random thoughts and was given a simple diversion of thought. Now knowing I wasn’t going to die after all, since I had a future promised to me from years prior, I “laid back down”. Because of this Spirit event, when the first responders did come, I felt as though I had only been sleeping, and people had come to wake me up. I felt the need to sit up and be present for my “visitors”, and even - get this - to help them out. It was the firemen standing at the driver’s door holding the jaws of life cutting my car open. When I did come to, the men told me not to move, that I could not move. I was unaware there were also responders with me on the passenger’s side, holding my head still so not to cause more damage as they worked to release me.
Major Healing, Major Struggle, Lifelong Victory
From there on out, it was one challenge after the next; one victory after the next. I’d be lying to you if I said it was spiritual uphill battle from there. It was most certainly not. I was constantly struggling in one form or another, and I still struggle to this very day. Healing isn’t instant, and not all miracles are massively obvious. Sometimes I struggled just to find the joy in life. Depression had always been a shadowed companion to me as I battled anxiety completely alone and isolated from true help and support. Now to add to my distress was the inability to even take care of myself physically. Even when I was walking well enough on my own, and even looked amazing to many, I felt pain. If not pain, then I’d have an indiscernable amount of soreness and an overall feeling of heaviness. I had even twice gone on to foreign countries, first taking a mini tour of Europe, and then a year later spending two too short weeks in Bali. But getting up and being able to go to new places did mean I got to leave my stress, pain, and fatigue behind. Nor my anxiety. I simply figured that if I couldn’t walk well at home, I may as well not be able to walk well in Paris. I wasn’t given a wheelchair as part of my future planning, though the truth was I did need one. But I didn’t want that as my lifestyle, so I joined a friend going to Europe, and as she went on to the Louvre to see gorgeous artwork, I took a sketchbook and just spent the day sitting in a cafe´. As I write this, it sounds lovely, but anxiety my good old friend was sure to never leave my side, now this time, reminding me constantly of my newly acquired limitations.
But thank God, we weren’t created to be limited. By leaning on the Divine in full dependence, we were intended to be limitless creations. So, panic attack after panic attack, one difficult day of pain or emotional breakdown after another, I continued on, determined to fight for my future that I was promised. But though I would weave in and out of depression in the years of healing after my car accident, I never lost sight of the Victory in this lifetime that I knew was coming my way.
Once walking and independent again, I was going back to church, seeking God, and chasing healing. I was manifesting things I had desired, without even knowing what manifesting was. I was moving further and further down the path of healing I truly felt called to move down, yet I was living a life of spiritual dichotomy and soul separation, and let me tell you - my spirit was getting fed up, although it would take some massive shake-ups and breakdowns before my brain would finally begin to understand.
I continued on in this secret-stead until my path brought me deeper into the church community I was in, giving me more insight into the mindset behind a lot of behaviours and rules behind the scenes – things that weren’t scandalous by any nature – but certainly were not concepts and situations that breathed the Breath of Life of the presence of God by any means. I became aware of specific rules, small and petty minds, or hypocritical and unloving atmospheres created by many big names within the community. There were so many red flags that continued to make me feel more and more repressed and suffocated by my surroundings. My entire life and worldview was this community, this culture, and to be constantly, and continuously be seeing more and more issues from within that were contradictory to our very beliefs. I was told my religion brought us freedom in Christ, and yet, I felt never more constricted and caged. I had no idea how to process everything that was so apparent to me, so ingrained in the mindsets of the people around me, and yet, so contrary to the very concept of Christ: misogyny, homophobia, heck, just the very obvious and blatant rejection of every person who didn’t fit the idea of a pure and perfect lifestyle. Condemnation, rejection, and guilt seemed to consume the space that was meant for love, redemption, and grace. So many things that were standard for the Christian communities I was in didn’t align with the concepts of who Christ was and the example He set for us, and I did not know how to handle these blaring discrepancies that stood in the way of people connecting with each other and with their Creator in love.
I was in a “Christian” relationship, but Christ was far from being the center of our mindset. Truly, fear governed every thought, most dangerously present was the constant fear of the community’s opinion (on just about everything). We weren’t able to express or celebrate ourselves due to the nature of this tightly bound religious community. Further more restricting me and moving me into a breakdown was the pervasive role I was to play in the relationship due to my gender. I wasn’t even valued as being equally important, let alone feeling emotionally valued, and it was specifically stated as such. And because I had also internalised the misogyny, I didn’t know how to even express a single thought on the entire situation, so all I did was to continue on this repressive crazy train as I was: silent, feeling like I was slowly suffocating, and choking on all that I couldn’t process. I just quietly went along with everything, doing my best to ignore the deafening alarms ringing endlessly in my heart.
Naturally, this all lead to a quiet, but expected breakdown, between us and within myself. After the relationship ended, I still remained in the community, until one day, when a guest speaker took the pulpit and said a few unloving words that finally were the straw that broke my soul’s silent tolerance of such stupidity. In the middle of the sermon, I got up and walked out. Yet, I still couldn’t bring myself to leave the church building until I got the confirmation from trusted friends who all went to different churches, and had also experienced “break-ups” with their own church communities. Thank God we’re all millenials, so I knew I could send a text to them all and expect a few responses, even if they too were in the middle of listening to their own churches. “Leave”, they all texted me in reply to my dilemma. “What’s to stay around for? You don’t need that, there’s many other places to go.” One text was just, “Pshht, time to move on.” But there was one girl left to put her two cents into the group chat. I prayed sincerely, “God, whatever this one girl replies with, I’ll do. If I’m supposed to stay, let it be reflected in her words.” Finishing my prayer, I looked down to see she had texted. “Girl, leave.” Satisfied now that I had the support of all my best girl friends, and the Big Man Upstairs himself, I pushed the doors open and haven’t gone back.
Love, Light, Peace, and Freedom
When I walked out that church that day, by no means did I turn my back on God, nor on the Church itself. But I came to see that in certain religious communities, rather than following the voice of Love and Mercy itself, we can end up following the hollow rules of man, which in the end only blind us to the presence of God. Again, I do not hold every religious community to my experience. I’ve actually been within stricter, more orthodox communities in which I’ve met nothing but a palpable and genuine love for and inclusion of all people. They hold themselves to stricter traditions and allowances, but only hold themselves to them; they don’t view all others outside their community with the same requirements they hold for themselves, as was my experience.
It would be crazy to think that all my problems ended there. Depression and anxiety still followed me. But you know what waned, massively, and effectively? Shame. My inner self-critic. My internalized misogyny. Fear of constant criticism. A need to perfectionism. That internal pull of anxeity that makes you need to look and appear pretty and perfect all the time. You know what I received in their place? Genuine self-acceptance. Self-love. A voice of boldness and courage. A fierce desire to empower women of all kinds. A refusal to listen to fear and the opinions of people. A solid, unwavering faith in God that held no place for fear, guilt, or condemnation. And a rising passion to imbue Divine Love, Light, Peace, Truth, Grace, and Victory into all people.
It was this new self - my buried self - that lead me steadily down the path of Victory and Peace I was always meant to be on. My soul was finally being allowed out of the cage as spiritual and energetic chains broke off. I dove head first into discovering the Creator through every modality I felt lead towards. I dug into learning as much as I could about the spirituality of the ancient Celts, my ancestors, so I could relearn how to have a deeper and truer relationship with God. I studied intensely about energy healing so that I could learn to heal myself and others. My depression had been a trapped energy that I was able to release and haven’t seen come back. For my anxiety, its the same thing, though, I’m still releasing it, as it’s been tightly wound within my energy field. But I’ve had so many more victories, such as the dizziness caused by my brain injury. It used to come out of nowhere and leave me in bed all day. Now it’s down to a minor, rare occurrence. My life has become so much more liveable, so much more enjoyable once I took my health and my faith into my own hands.
There’s Hope for You!
Girl, if you related to my story at all, I know you know how difficult and downright frustrating life can be. Honestly, I left out so many other frustrations that were major set backs as well, as I didn’t want either of us to be here writing and reading all day! I’ll be sure to tell the rest in a book some day. :) But for now, if you did relate, I want you to connect with me. Email me, and let me know your story! A lot of women have unfortunately had the same experience in their religious experience as well. They desire the True Living God, they desire an abundant life in the deepest of its meaning, but in their communities they found restriction and even cultish behaviours.
All I’m here for is to tell you that there is MORE. There’s more to life, there’s more to God! And you can have more, too! More freedom, more healing, more peace, more finances! And more fun in your life. If you want to access my services, please do! But if you’re ready for that, but simply desire to establish a connection, definitely feel free to do that as well. I want to hear from you!
I can’t wait to see you all blossom and flourish into beautiful women of God; brilliant lights shining for all to see! As I hope to spark love and delight within you, it’s my prayer that you spread your light to others as well. Be of great joy, my friend! <3